Certainties
by melizabethp
Summary: There aren't a lot of certainties in life. Most things are uncertain. More things than Beckendorf realizes. Death is a certainty. But is love? {A charlena oneshot}


I step in front of the council and take a deep breath. Not like I need to breathe anymore, seeing how I'm dead and all. It does nothing to calm my nerves anyway. I wish I could take out the picture of Silena that still rests in my pocket to get rid of a bit of my anxiety. But I can't. I'm not supposed to be allowed any personal possessions or tokens across the River Styx. When we crossed the river, all the other spirits' possessions literally floated out of the boat and into the river of lost loves, hopes and dreams.

Not the picture of Silena though. I can't help thinking that it means something but I don't have time to mull over it though. I have other things to deal with right now. Like my fate for the rest of eternity.

I look up at the panel of five judges in black robes. They all seem to be staring and shuffling through some papers. They don't even raise their heads to look at me. It's completely quiet for a few minutes except for the sounds of rustling papers and tortured souls screaming in the distance.

I have a really hard time keeping still while they're looking at their papers. Even after death, my ADHD sticks with me. I silently clench and unclench my fists while my thoughts drift to Silena and the other campers and I send a quick prayer to the gods for them, that they're all okay. Do the gods listen to the prayers from the Underworld? I doubt it. They hardly listen to the prayers of mortals.

Finally, the third judge looks up from his papers and says, "I see no reason not to send the boy straight to Elysium."

The last judge looks up and states, "I concur," The second and fourth judge both nod their approval. But the first judge is still studying his papers.

"Minos?" the third judge questions.

"The boy had suspicions about his girlfriend." he says, finally looking at me. The look he gives me probably would have sent shivers throughout my body, if I still had a body. But it wasn't just the look. He was talking about Silena. What was he talking about?

The judges look down at their papers again. "Noticing her strange charm bracelet hardly qualifies as 'suspicions'." the second judge says, looking over at Minos.

"The boy could have simply asked her about it and she likely would have told him. As it says here, they were 'in love'." Minos reads with a sneer, "He could have gotten rid of the threat of a spy infiltration."

Now I'm really lost. "What do you mean I could have gotten rid of the threat of a spy? I didn't know any spy." Minos snaps his head towards me.

"Oh so you don't know? If you two were really so 'in love', how could you possibly not know that your little girlfriend is a spy for the Titan army. That doesn't seem like love to me." Minos smiles coldly.

If I had a pumping heart, it would have stopped.

"You're lying." I spit out, "Not Silena." But as I say it, I think about the silver bracelet Silena always kept covered up so I could never get a good look at it. Minos is right, I never asked about it. I never thought it could mean anything so nefarious.

"You know it's true boy. You're just lying to yourself!" Minos says. The other judges are silent, waiting for my reaction.

It hits me like a ton of bricks. The reason why Luke always seemed one step ahead of us the whole time. It was Silena. I sink to my knees, not caring about the judges or my eternal fate. The picture in my pocket seems to burn against my leg but I still don't bring it out.

"_No_." I whisper to no one. "No!" I exclaim in frustration.

I don't understand the feeling at first. Then I put my finger on it. Betrayal. I feel betrayed. She knew me, inside and out. And I know nothing about her at all.

Everything else passes in a blur, nothing seems clear. I am sent to Elysium despite what Minos said. I have a feeling though he didn't say it to get me punishment. He did because my pain caused him pleasure, for whatever reason it may be.

_Pain. _That is definitely the only word to describe how I am feeling. In the mortal world, I had never felt pain this bad, even in my final moments because this was _inside _me. And this would never go away. This was my eternal punishment.

I don't know how long I wander aimlessly around Elysium for. Minutes, hours, days? I don't see, feel, or taste anything but _pai__n and betrayal._

Eventually, I make it to the edge of Elysium. I can't go any further so I sit down, facing the gates and Cerberus. I watch all the spirits coming in, no one ever leaving.

That's the thing about death. It's certain. So many things in life are uncertain, unstable. But thing that is always certain is death. And once you die, that's it. There's no going back. And everyone knows that. It's dependable. In it's own way, death isn't so bad at all.

While I'm thinking about life and death and all the certainties and uncertainties, I notice that the beach I'm sitting on looks a lot like the one at Camp Half Blood. Or maybe it's just my fond memories of Camp Half Blood that makes it appear that way to me. Thinking about Camp Half Blood, I start to think about Silena and how many memories we shared together on that beach and the pain begins to rise in my chest again before I even had realized it was gone.

But I push past the pain and think about Silena because I feel like I'm missing something important.

Silena. Who was always kind to every camper, always helped with the new campers, and enjoyed spending time with me despite me being a son of the blacksmith god. What made Silena so beautiful wasn't just her exterior, it was her being herself. Her personality shined through to her exterior and that made her the most beautiful person.

For the first time since the I entered the Underworld, I pull Silena's photo out of my pocket and realize what it had meant. Silena is a good person. No one can change that. It is a certainty. Just how our relationship is a certainty.

I do know her. I know her because she knows me. Something like that has to go both ways.

And Silena Beauregard, at the core of her, is a good person.

Once I realize that, my pain fades away. There's still a dull ache, that would never really go away but that's okay because I know now Silena would fix this. She would make it back to me.

So I sit there on the beach of Elysium for days, watching all the souls come in until I see the one I would recognize anywhere, in this life or the next. She's walking down the path towards Elysium and my body warms.

I was right, she is a certainty.

I run to meet her at the entrance. She sees me before she enters and stops.

"Charlie." she says and if I had a functioning heart, it would have skipped a beat. Her voice is so full and thick with emotion. Her eyes are full of regret but there's a touch of happiness there too.

"It's okay." I say to her, reaching out but I can't reach her because she still hasn't entered Elysium. "I forgive you." Her eyes widen at the words and I see that she understands.

We stand there for a couple seconds but it seems like days. Suddenly, she breaks the stillness and runs at me full on and I open my arms to receive her.

We fall onto the sand and we kiss like we have never kissed before. All the other times we kissed, it was life _or_ death. But this is just death. It's a certainty. And I can't say that I hate it too much.

When we finally pull apart I say, "Silena? Don't take this the wrong way or anything but... I'm glad you're here."

She throws her head back and laughs like it's the first time she's ever done so. And then she smiles at me and I can see her beauty shining through.


End file.
